I wear socks, you wear stockings
My pink is camp, while yours is shocking
I wear pants, you slip on panties
You only take, a little bit of what you fancy
I stuff my face, you sip your tea
I'm a modern man, you make fun of me
I pull a snarl, while you're pouting
You use your foundation, while I use grouting
Don't even know what's good for me
Well I know that it ain't you Trudy
I score with Biro, you use a fountain
Modern man! You keep shouting
You're dressing casual, while I look unsightly
Unflattering pyjamas against your cute nightie
If I just listened perhaps I'd understand
All these useless traits of a modern man
When I sweat, you just glow
I toss the ball, while like a girl, you throw
You go weak at the knees, I use elbows
Qualities of the modern man, I show
Say you could read every book, listen to news
But youd still rather be in my shoes